1. Remove all notifications on social media. It feels like a zombie's statue mounted in public gaze ever ready to be whipped.
2. Avoid the sugary pasted cake for too much sweetness is injurious to the soul.
3. Chuck out the selfies. Time to go and get a life for it feels like being a narcissist admiring the self in the mirror.
4. Mind that child. I am one who refuses to age which is shit scary like hiting the head on a tree trunk and nopes, you don't wanna remind me how old I am growing.
5. Kiss a frog. Right! I am not kidding. The prettiest girls in down are probably too young for me and the ones after me can be wearing stilettos. Hey! It's my birthday and am not buying you a red pair of long heels.
6. Waking up to a new identity and switching off the phone.I am no Alice in wonderland rediscovering just a plain calendar change to wallow in self-love or self-pity.
7. Stop acting my age! Well! What can I be? An owl, parrot or a baby. Yeah, I shall cry in the cradle and make a halo with this evil smile.
8. Hug myself. Yes! I often do that. See, self love is better than water conservation and not giving away any love to anyone other than myself.
9. Partying with my chaddi buddies and make it a hell like Santa claus memory kinda celebration. How about crashing into someone's empty bungalow at midnight and speaking pot of hashish only to be caught by cops. Birthday treat, loud singing and dancing inside jail in our supermen and superwomen chaddis. A chaddi birthday and sore bum that we shall never ever forget!
10.Congratulations for reading till the end. Now, I shall give you condoms to blow for it's not my birthday. Pull your zip and let the balloons fly in the air.