Mommy Returns, Bhootnath Returns and Singham Returns need to
take a leaf since we are minutes and seconds away from the good ole’ Sanskari
days. It’s called, ‘Ghar Waapsi’ at the stroke of midnight. The RSS is hitting
their stomach with a bang doing bang bang for their success in the scripted
blockbuster ‘Ghar Wapsi.’ An anti-dote to the modern day of Ramayana-move over
The Secrets of Nagas’ to convert and
re-convert ‘Hindus’ coz India is a Hindu state first, NO.
Swacch Bharat re-plugged with the meteoric rise of extreme
right ‘Hindu’ fundamentalists. It should be the dhamakedaar dialogue of the year
‘Ghar Waapsi.’ Time to move over ‘Ache Din’ and ‘Ab Aahi Gaye Modi Sarkar’, it’s
Ghar Wapsi piping Modi one-liners to the post.
Last heard, the RSS Walon is planning to welcome the year clinking
cocktail glasses with a Dharna a la Kejriwal, asking PM Modi to ban all social
networking sites like Facebook and, of course, whatsapp since it’s a by-product
of western culture infiltrating India and polluting young minds. The likes of
Sunny Leone and Sherlyn Chopra will soon be out of work as skin showing will
flow out of the window and will be invited to embrace Sanyasi in Ashrams. The kissing
Babas will fall sway to the perfume of spirituality as their lotus feet will be
the solace for the damsels in distress.
This is true Ghar Waapsi, according to spoke people of the
Shakha. There will be a police ban on erotic movies and illegal viewing of
pornography-cum-intimate materials on websites and magazines. You know why?
Because, some spiritual people have just discovered a ‘scientific fact’ that
sexual performance decreases mental concentration and reduces life span.
A new law is in the offing: Every male must deposit their
sperms with the Government and will be rationed on demand to procreate because
‘Ghar Waapsi’ will be the buzz of 2015. We are in for a huge revolution in
India to clean our great culture of all evils, perpetrated by man-kind.
HRD Minister and Yale’d, Smriti Irani will announce a pet project in
all schools and colleges, ‘Kyon Ki Sanskari Kabhi Bhi Hindustani Sabyata Tha’.
Our text books will contain only scriptures of Ramayana, encouraging every
child to be a pious Hindu and Non-Hindus to convert in truly ‘Ghar Waapsi’
fashion. Failure to do so will entail that our children will not be allowed to
take exams or will get a zero note.
It’s the award of the year to take the pie. The ‘funtoons’
in real life are jumping the fray, fighting and kicking each other a la Bum Be Laat to take
the award home. The 2014 Award of the year goes to: Baba Ramdev, for saving
Hindu religion from PK. Next in line: Rashtriya Sevak Sangh and Vishwa Hindu
Parishad slugging it out at No. 2. Wait, we are not done. The outsider, Shiv
Sena is sending a rocket: daring PM Modi to capture Dawood in an Osama-like
operation. Who will make 31st December their’s? Your take and don’t
forget to put all your money on the dark horse. Nostradamus has just failed.
Whipped a freezy ice-cream, pour some liquor to trade New
Year Eve and ushering in brand new 2015 filled with idiosyncrasies coz 2015
gonna be a super- hot and spicy year with phunny one-liners, endorsed by our
politicians and religious men to beat each other. So much for the lime light!
Happy New Year 2015
Char Botal Vodka
Vishal
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